There's an innocence we look for in the stars

( Justprompts~ Ten things you should be ashasmed of but you aren't.. )

Dean was nervously playing with his fingers cracking them. His face looked awfully pale and he hadn't eaten anything. Cause he was sure if he did eat anything it would have come back. Dean was tapping his foot, cracking his fingers which were never good warning sings. He knew that feeling all to well that something not very good was going to happen. He knew that Cordy was sending him here to get help but it still scared him. Dean's eyes were never focusing on one thing, he would be looking out the window of the car then at his feet. His palms were very clammy and he felt like he could throw up right about now. Dean felt his body ache and moan for him to calm it down with a smoke. But he willed him self to stop, he wasn't going to ever leave Sammy alone. Sam was too young to be left alone just like that. Dean promised him self that if he got through this which he knew he would. He just didn't know how long this was going to take or what was going to happen.

Cordy hadn't said much on what was going to happen or where they were going. Not like if she told him he would know it. This place was so new to him. He had been here once but he was stuck in the house that his dad had at the time. Dean sighed thinking about his dad, what was he goign to do or think? Dean's arm just hurt thinking about his dad. Dean could feel his hands shaking and his whole body was shaking. He didn't show it but he was scared, worried may have been the only expression that was shown. Dean didn't like the idea of this at all.

Dean paced back in forth as Sammy dressed. Getting ready to leave, Dean wasn't certain where they were going next. But he knew that Cordy was going to be with them, that he wasn't alone anymore. He knew that Cordy was most likely going to find some way to get him help for his self destructive behavior. But Dean wasn't sure it could be helped. He knew that as the days passed things go worse and worse. Not with Sammy no not at all with Sammy things seemed to be getting better and better. But he lost a sense of mind that he had before not that there was much to it before. But still each day he felt like he was slipping down into a path where he didn't want to be. He wasn't planning on telling Cordy anything. Though he figured he should because knowing her she would figure it out anyways. But he wasn't sure on how to tell her. Seeming as his arms were bruised up he wasn't sure what or how he was going to tell her what really happened. But he figured that if she didn't ask he wouldn't tell. Dean felt very weird every since this whole thing started with Sammy getting sick he just hadn't been acting or feeling the same way he used to. He knew that he had failed his father because if he hadn't then Sammy wouldn't have been in this mess to start off with.


Sam watched his brother intently, Sam knew for a fact that something was awfully wrong with Dean. What was up with last night? Why was his brother crying like a baby. Sam didn't ask because he didn't want to get yelled at for asking something that wasn't his to know in the first place. He just felt really odd and out of place because he knew that his blamed himself for what happened to him. Sam just wanted to tell his brother that it wasn't his fault. That it was his own for not telling him sooner. Sam finished redressing him self and sat on the bed. Idly waiting for Cordy to say that they could go. Sam had even started to wonder about his father. What was he going to do? Sam never felt a very strong attachment to his father. He felt that his father didn't love them very much for leaving them alone in a hotel room. Sammy had learned at a young age to trust no one else but Dean and him. Never to go off with strangers, things of that nature. It was hard for Sammy to think about what he was being told by Anna, his brother, Cordy. He felt very confused and was afraid to say anything because once again he didn't like yelling.

Both Sam and Dean were at a milestone in their lives. Though they may not both have admitted it at the time. They were both very scared, they had no clue what was to lie ahead of them. But they could only hope that it would get better. Sammy finally decided to say something to Dean to maybe lighten this mood up. The air hung thick like it does normally in hospitals with the smell of bleach and cleaners and antiseptic lay thick like snow on a mountain top. Sam said "Dean I'm done. Can we get out of here now? I want to get out of here soon as we can." Dean shaken from his revere responded by saying "We have to wait for Cordy to sing those papers. So then we can get you officially released out of here."

Sam sighed getting up slowly walking over to his brother, as best as he could being way shorter then Dean was proceeded to give him a hug. "Thank you for everything Dean. You saved me. I mean it." Dean was really shocked by this hug he didn't want to say to his brother that he wasn't that he wasn't a hero that everything he did was for himself. Dean smiled and picked up his younger brother hugging him tightly. "I know kiddo I know." Sam smiled as he nuzzled into his brother shoulder. He loved the way that his brother smelt, he didn't know why he liked it but it put a smile on his face.Dean happily started to tickle his brother getting a loud giggle fit from Sam. "Dean.... stop tickling..." He said laughing to hard to form straight sentences. "Dean... really." Dean kept going knowing that his brother was having a riot. Sammy giggled happily as dean kept on tickling him. He was very happy right now, Sam right then and there knew that long as he had Dean nothing else could or would ever go wrong again. Each of them knew that there was something adrift between them but they would never tell each other. Sam just knew that he liked it this way and hoped that it would stay awhile.

Dean sighed as he dialed his father's cellphone. He had just called Cordy to make sure she was still on her way. Which she was, she was still a little ways off. He waited for his father to pick up. But of course he didn't so he left him a long message "Hey dad... its me... Dean... wanted to say we are back in Lawrence. We are okay. But Sammy was really sick and you weren't coming back anytime soon. So call me back once you get this. We are okay and I hope your not tooo mad at me." Dean clicks the phone off and paces back and forth watching a sleeping Sammy sleep.

Sam was clinging to Anna like he was about to die. He didn't feel good at all and was worried so much. He was so used to going here with Dean. But now that Anna was watching him he felt worried that Dean might freak out or be mad Anna took him here. Sam looked up at Anna and waited.